Bringin' the family to war



Pick a caption:
The family that shells together gels together.
The family that goes to war together sees gore together.
The family that bayonets together has interesting get-togethers.


That is extreme family unity.  Before the days of cell phones and army-provided video links traveling with the enlisted man of the house might have been the only way to be sure you'd see him again.  I'm sure it had a lot to do with having cash to live on in the pre-direct deposit days.  Troops were paid in the field.  If the family wasn't right there it might not see any of his pay for months or even years.  I'm sure the wives were also worried their man might be tempted to pay another woman for certain affections (let's be pleasant about this, shall we?) if she wasn't there to provide them herself.

The men got to enjoy most of the benefits of home (except the actual home, of course), wife-cooked meals and their adoring children always nearby.

But I'm sure it was a double edged sword (in a time when they actually used double edged swords); the wife and children were always nearby.  Domestic arguments must have followed those poor guys right to the edge of the battlefield and be waiting for them again the moment they got off.  I can picture a guy being carted off and brought back to his family's tent after being wounded.

  Beulah-May
Oh my lord, Johnnie-Ray!  What happened to your pants?

  Johnnie-Ray
My pants?!  Tarnation woman!  I done got my legs blowed off!

  Beulah-May
Yes, but... I just sewed those pants!  Look at them now!

  Johnnie-Ray
Dag-nabbit!  Just be grateful the surgeon was able to sew me up good.

  Beulah-May
I'll be the judge of that.  Looky there.  Sloppiest job ever, all criss crossey.  You could tell it was a man done it.  Were you at least wearin' your good Sunday under-britches when he seen you?

  Johnnie-Ray
What?!  Who gives a hoot in hel-

  Beulah-May
You watch your mouth!  I knew it!  I'm so embarrassed.  What pair was you wearin'?

  Johnnie-Ray
...grrr.

  Beulah-May
Johnnie-Ray Havershaw III jr, What pair of under-britches was you wearin'?

  Johnnie-Ray
Weren't wearin' none.  We was settin' up an ambuscade, all sneaky-like.  When I goes commando woman, I goes commando!

  Beulah-May
Lordy!  Hmph.  You know when Jeremiah McClintock jr II got blowed up Sarah Mae was able to hold her head up high.  HE had on his best Sunday's.

  Johnnie-Ray
Well bully for the wid-dow McClintock!

Angered by the exchange, Johnnie-Ray huffs off to the general's tent on his sloppily stitched stumps to ask for reassignment to long-range reconnaissance.  The wise officer eyes the underbritchesless double amputee with a seasoned compassion.

  General
The missus givin' you fits agin, son?

Can't imagine seeing it today.  (-families going to war that is, not underbritchesless double amputees) But of course there's no need; modern banking keeps the money flowing and modern electronics gives some semblance of face-time.  If only modern diplomacy had made similar advancements in problem solving the whole hideously expensive circus might be rendered obsolete.  But alas it is not so. 

Of course, If I were god...

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