Monday, November 28, 2011


So I get home to find the cabinet guys nearly done, but the crown moulding we had ordered was not touching the ceiling as we arranged for in the showroom last week.  I knew it was wrong the moment I saw it, but I did not 'hit the ceiling' myself.  I told them and the three of us had an uncomfortable conversation before the main guy, a pleasant older fellow I'd dealt with before, called the showroom to bawl them out.

Then he went outside in the fading light to his table saw set-up in my driveway to cut extra pieces to extend the moulding up.

Then he came back in clutching his bleeding hand.  His assistant grabs a towel, wraps it and off they rush to the hospital.

I continue on my own project in another room for another ten minutes or so.

Until the assistant comes back, breathless.

He needs a strong flashlight.

To find the thumb.


I swear to Me, the man cut his thumb off.  Now we have to find it.  In the dark.  And of course, I do.  About an inch or so of it, severed at or below the joint.

He grabs it with a gauze square they gave him at the hospital, puts it in a baggy already set up with ice and a gauze bed, and off he goes to help his boss get whole again.  It's too early to know if they'll be successful reattaching it.  His whole family went to the hospital and is with him.  As I am not actually all-knowing and couldn't guess as to the protocol for this flavor of madness, I asked his assistant if we should go.  He said not, he's sedated and not receiving visitors anyway.  At least we know he's getting good care.

And that's where it stands.  True story.  Just happened.  Swear to Me.


  1. Oh. My. You. I don't even know what to say.



    Nice cabiinets.

  2. Yikes! My dad came very close to doing the same thing once, but only took off the tip of his thumb (just missed hitting the bone). It took years before he regained any sensation in it. Hope your contractor makes a full recovery.

    Dave B.

  3. Holy...the thumb. Been there. Got it sewn back together. Didn't have it as bad as this guy though. Definitely not fun.

  4. Oh shit. We built a house last year and there were no losses of body parts. Almost lost an entire concrete worker when he stepped into the newly poured fireplace footing that was 4ft deep, though.
    Hoping yer guy heals well and quickly.

  5. Man, the lengths people will go to just to get out of fixing a mistake. I think you should have kept the thumb for ransom until your cabinets were right. But then, I'm probably not going to heaven anyway.

  6. Holy you! He's made a blood sacrifice to the cabinetry god (you?) and a flesh sacrifice to the crown-moulding god (also you?), so the rest of the project should go smoothly, yes?

  7. I want you to know that I started this post with a smile. Such pretty cabinets. Then I got the bitchy face from the ceiling gap. WTF is wrong with them? By the time you finished I was totally wearing my sad face that says if I were suffering from my monthly irrational week I'd be crying already.

    So I guess what I'm saying is... NICE JOB!

  8. Wow. And Yuck.

    The poor guy! Hazard of the trade, to a certain extent, but that has to suck mightily. I'll say a prayer for him.


    Joey 9-fingers tells me that it was an angle cut and he only lost half the top part of the thumb. He also called to tell me he was bored at home, went to my house with his nephew, raised the cabinets to their proper height and expects to finish the bottoms tonight. Gotta respect the man.

  10. Hope they get it back on. Otherwise he won't be able to hitch-hike. Or call somebody out in baseball. Or play The Fonz. Or have a gladiator put to death. Or open a twist top. Thumbs are very important.

  11. That. Was. The. BEST. Punch I've ever received while reading a post. Stellar g. Way to go!

    Oh right. Hope the guy's okay.

  12. I caught off the tip of my finger in an industrial food processor. Just missed the bone. The tip grew back.
    But sure, lose my hair and THAT won't grow back.

  13. @Nicky totally stole my line.

    Well, I'm glad the guy is ok, and actually wants to finish the job. Did they reattach it or is he really Joey 9-fingers now??

  14. Fredasaurus,
    I'm told he has a plastic cap on it now, like a thimble (a thumble?) and is happily back at work

    Thankyou, but none of it was creative license; all factual reporting

    at least we have time to anticipate and adjust to hair loss

    he is 'Joey 9 3/4 fingers' now. What seemed to be the thumb's top half on my driveway turned out to be an angle cut of half the top half.

  15. OH NO WAY! I can't IMAGINE THIS! I don't know if I would be shocked, scared, mortified, fascinated.... holy COW!