Thursday, December 8, 2011

WHAT IF GOD IS CHEATING ON US? part I

(and just when she was finally cleaning up her act too)



[technical problem:  The last line got dropped from the above text box.  It should read "could you start in the Middle East?"]


I hope you enjoyed the first few pages.  As a writer always willing to edit it would help me to know which parts of these critical first pages 'grabbed you', which bored you or if any part dragged or disappointed.  Don't be too afraid or too polite to be honest people, thou shalt not lie.

Unfortunately technical issues have cropped up again and may delay the next installment.  I'll try to get it sorted out this weekend so I can post the next few pages on Monday. 
-NO PROMISES; after all I am not actually... (you know)

10 comments:

  1. Very interesting. However, I thought I was reading an essay. A good one, but I didn't get a "booky" feeling.

    But some people tell me I'm numb (nuts).

    HA!

    Maybe you could copy and paste it as a regular blog post. Twas a wee bit confusing trying to figure out what I was reading.

    The content was intriguing.

    Nicely done!

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  2. I seriously liked it. And I want more. But in your own good time, of course. You gave me the gift of patience, after all. Actually, I even liked the "typewriter" look of it. The little format thing didn't bother me either. I knew it said "Middle East" before I read it in your note!

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  3. Can't wait to read the next installment! I have often thought God must be cheating on us. Frankly given the way things have turned out... I wouldn't be surprised if I got the divorce papers. :)

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  4. I would have kept turning the pages (and felt slightly guilty doing so, my latent Catholicism kicking in.)

    By the way, I saw a good kicker to the "God is dead - Nietche" "Nietche is dead - God" thing.

    "Prove it - Prudential Insurance"

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  5. Ok, first the technicky stuff:

    Pg 1, 3rd paragraph: there should be a comma after "As a man"

    Pg 2, 1st paragraph: comma after "sulfur falling"

    Pg 3, last sentence: comma after "for a siesta"

    Pg 4, the sidebar quote: I don't know if that's how the speaker wrote the quote, but all the "He" and "Him" need to be capitalized

    Pg 5, 1st paragraph: Gauche should not be capitalized

    Now for my humble opinion:

    I liked it. A lot.

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  6. Q,
    my first reader/editor was also surprised that it it seemed like an essay. I don't know if there's any other way to approach it.

    Linda,
    I think I've got the tech problems solved. I had it figured a while ago, then forgot what I figued, then refigured this weekend (waiting in a car with my sleeping 2-yr old while mommy shopped)

    Angie,
    waiting's over baby! It's here.

    Sully,
    I guess that means you enjoyed it? Or no proof on that either?

    Nicky Mags,
    I need technicky notes also, so thanks. Glad you liked it, because it goes on like this a good long while (not unlike hell, where I will be penning the sequel)

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  7. Came here by way of my friend Suldog, and I am indeed captivated by your writing. Especially after reading Ehrman, Hitchens, Dawkins, and the like. You are definitely on a roll...looking forward to the next installment! EFH

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  8. I think he should appear on "Jeopardy!". He'd never lose. And he could donate all his winnings to his favorite charity. Wouldn't we all like to know what THAT is?

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  9. I loved it the first time I read it and I am loving it again now. You are a talented writer, NAG.

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  10. Expat,
    thanks PFH. I know it's not polished, but it's nice to hear I'm on the right track.

    Fredissimo,
    but what if He gives the 'mom' answer; "I gave you life, isn't that enough?"

    Mrs,
    I'm always better the second time around. (Look at me, preaching to the choir!)

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