Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Wanna live forever?

Theoretically, it's within reach -well maybe not 'forever' but how about 1000? -or so scientist Aubrey de Grey claims.  Though I'm not sure I'm willing to trust the word of a man named Aubrey; in fact his whole name is a little suspicious.  Aubrey de Grey -sounds made up.  Like a Bond villain or something.

Setting those concerns aside for the moment, he of suspect name claims the first person to live to 150 has already been born.  Maybe it'll be my one year old. (I'll have to tell her to invest in long term treasuries)  Supporting the claim is that the average life expectancy is extending by 4 months every year.  So every four years you get an extra year; in forty an entire extra decade.  This is good news for me.  I'm 45 now, and my own expectancy is currently 75, BUT in forty years my expectancy will be 85 just in time for me to turn 85.

The new 'middle aged', outraged at finding the new minimum age for social security is 96
This is not a joke, there are a growing number of scientists who really believe that with a growing menu of cellular therapies they're close to 'curing' aging.  Not crankiness or stubbornness, just aging.
Not hearing loss, vision loss, memory loss, arthritis, or incontinency -just aging.
Yeah... not sure I want it.

80 is the new 'still got it'

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. Ugh. I no more want to live to be 150 than I would care to see that lovely woman in a bikini again. Yikes. I mean, (the actual) God bless her and all that, but... no. Just no. Please.

  2. 150? Really? I don't want to live that long if I'm going to look like crap. And the way the world is going, I'm not sure it's going to make it that long.

  3. WOW....all I can say is WOW to that photo!!! No thank you to the thought of living to 150. And NO THANK YOU to seeing that picture ever again!!

  4. God, in all your infinite wisdom, must have a reason for allowing that woman to walk around in that bikini. Infinite wisdom or infinite vodka. Either way. Please don't do that again.

    Wait, was that my punishment for not stopping by to worship you last week? Trust me, I'm now repentant!

  5. If I Were God...July 6, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    dude, I thought you already WERE 150! Just kidding, just kidding. I thought that bikini shot made my point.

    wouldn't that be hilarious -outliving your planet. It would make a great cartoon; somebody walking out of a spa only to see the planet splitting in half

    yes, it is your punishment. You will see her in your dreams, and it will be YOU. bwahahahaha!

    I predict wheelchair/hoveround lanes added to highways in the near future

  6. They already have the equivalent of Hoveround lanes in parts of Florida--at least unofficially. The residents drive their golf carts on 50 MPH roads (without helmets, not that helmets would help much if they were struck). Isn't this natural selection at work?

  7. Although this was funny as hell, (sorry dude, I mean god), it did make me think. My maternal grandmother lived to the ripe old age of 94. She didn't smoke, drink, or kiss a lot of boys in her life. I think she was very healthy. But, and it's a big but... she died of old age and it has be be worse to die of that than almost anything I can imagine. Her last two years were spent in a "home" and I'd much rather be dead at 80.

  8. I wrote about half of a novel in which I knew I was going to Hell, so persuaded Jesus to just let me live as long as I wanted. It wasn't so bad, except for when each of my wives died. You know, like Highlander? That part sucked. It just taught me a lesson, writing that story. Maybe I should finish it.

  9. Hildy,
    natural selection works by keeping individuals from passing on their genes. If they die after that it's not natural selection so much as tidying up the place

    "...didn't smoke, drink, or kill a lot of boys..." AS FAR AS YOU KNOW. Would she really have told you if she was, let's say, the flappiest flapper of the roaring 20's?

    You should finish it, and your charachter arc could include marrying for lust -when that dies you can move on without sorrow. Paradoxically, when life is short you live for the long term, but when it's forever you live for the moment.

  10. My first thought was that picture was of David Carradine. But she seems to be enjoying life, so fine by me.

  11. LOL @ Tessa's Carradine comment. And thanks for helping me toss my cookies. With Gods like you, who needs devils? HA!!!

  12. Science is crazy!!! I just heard they perfected Viagra Alzheimer's strength. Yet another miracle!

  13. Dude, I said "kiss" a lot of boys, not "kill". But she could have given this other grannie a run for her money at the bathing suit contest. She was old, but she was pretty.

  14. Tessa,
    She does have that face, but so does Steven Tyler

    gotta have somebody to blame, can't be ME

    So, um, where can I score some of that? For, you know, a friend of mine who needs it...

    I didn't even realize I typed "kill" until you told me. Can I redeem my comment by saying that in her day she must've knocked 'em dead?

  15. Have you seen Aubrey de Grey? He looks like a man who hasn't shaved for 1000 years. Good for him.

  16. I got your very cool new button and it is linked! Cool!

  17. I can't remember a THING you wrote after looking at those pictures. I know it was good and I had a really great comment about it, but that front shot with the fabric hanging low... can't-think-any-more!

  18. I think I'm pretty much okay to go at 75.

  19. GB,
    thaaaaat's a long time to miss a shave

    thanks for putting it up at your place, doll

    it's not your time yet; this too shall pass

    deep breath...cleanse...now back away slowly

    judging by your pic that's a long way off; enjoy the ride babe

  20. Living long is great, as long as you have quality of life. Without that, you got nothin'.