Monday, May 2, 2011

Osama bin found, Osama bin kilt

Yet, there are doubters who believe Bin Laden is not really dead. Why?  The given reason is because the body was made inaccessable almost immediately.  It was dumped in the ocean like Megatron at the end of Transformers.

Offical photo of Osamatron (Mega bin Laden?) on his way to the bottom
 The real reason some doubt?  Some people have cynicism in their heads where intelligence is normally kept.

Many people believe the moon landings were faked.
Some still don't believe the holocaust really happened.
Some think Elvis isn't dead.
Some believe the Pentagon was hit by a missile and not an airliner.

After this article some might wonder if Osama and Megatron were actually the same person, like Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus, only less annoying and easier to listen to.  There's actually a better case to be made for Osama and Mega being the same person than for this weekend's killing to have been faked.  Osama and Mega actually have, had, a lot in common.  Both are

- Taller than average enemies of peace, truth and the American Way
- rely on threats rather than civil discourse
- commanders of a small private stealthy army
- the mastermind of a war largely fought in secret
- lived undetected in plain sight
- defeated by the scrappy efforts of Megan Fox and Shia LeBeouf (wait for the movie, you'll see)
- body dumped in ocean by thrifty government to avoid funeral/burial expenses

in addition neither

- believed in pants
- were stingy with explosives
- respected Michael Bay's directing style
- walked the red carpet
- ate kosher, even during Passover

Now I wonder who's going to start believing they're the same person,
and how much I'd make if I set up a "Worst of both worlds" tour?

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. I think you are onto something (but really YOU should KNOW) - anyway set your buddy The Donald out to prove this one!

  2. The last list is my favorite. I never saw Transformers, but I feel as though I did a little bit, now.

  3. I find it shocking that there really are people who are saying "He's not really dead. Show me the body." Excuse me? This is what, a hoax? I think you really should have come out a lot earlier and stronger on mothers and sons procreating and brothers and sisters inter-marrying and your views about it. We have too many of these "special" people running around out there. Look at Adam and Eve. You really should have thrown a girl into the mix someplace so Cain and Able would have had someone to, uhm, hang out with. What were you thinking?

  4. LaughingMom,
    I think after Donald's groundbreaking research into bullet-proofing hair we cannot ask more of him.

    Other than Megan Fox bouncing around, you 'aint missed much

    they are vitally necessary 'canaries in the coal mine'. They are responsible for every warning label you ever came across. Petroleum Jelly has one stating "Not a food product - DO NOT EAT" because one of them did. Drinking & driving laws, safety razors -all created because of them and we all reap the benefits.
    Of course they also gave Bush a second term, so it's not all beneficial.

  5. The Navy wife in me wants to celebrate...HOOYAH Navy Seals! But, then the more reasonable part of me knows that his followers will see these celebrations and retaliate. I see people using passages from the Bible to back their reasons for or against rejoicing over his death. I personally think he deserved to die. I think a bullet to the head was fine. My husband thinks they should have taken him into custody, lit him on fire and then made him jump from the tallest building in the states. Like those that died on 9/11. Curious to how you see it?

  6. If I was god, x-ray goggles wouldn't be necessary

    wait for transformers 4, Apparently Osama makes a cameo.

    You have a Navy wife in you??????? Ive heard of multiple personality disorders before but that is just plain weird.

  7. Hmmmmm. That's all I got. Just, hmmmmmm.

  8. Meg,
    I'm a believer in poetic justice. So the burn/jump appeals to me. What a lot of people don't realize that this is just a much a public relations war as it is a shooting/bombing war. The Muslim last rites and quick burial was a shrewd move they obviously had planned in advance.

    they're called "interesting facets", not "personality disorders". The diff? One gets you dinner on your plate, the other -on your head.

    Mmmm? Meh.

  9. I concur wholeheartedly with the "shrewd move" sentiment, though I suppose I can underdstand the whole world wishing for some kind of tangible "proof".

    But really all I wanted to say was that if you go on tour, NAG, I expect free tickets and a backstage pass.

    *note to Mrs NAG - there was, for once, no double entendre intended there. Just a fan.

    - B x

  10. I had a feeling you would like my husbands version of justice. We've been a military family for 21 years now, and while I don't believe everything the government puts out there, I believe this. I don't need proof. One of the reason they list for the burial at sea is to prevent his grave from becoming a shrine. That's a good enough reason for me.