Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tease Me on Tuesday

Well, if you're going to muzzle me on Monday... why not just go 'na-na-naNA-na' on Tuesday?
(There will not be a 'Whip Me on Wednesday", so don't get your hopes up, Church Ladies)

Not gonna happen.

I see the whole censorship issue that came up yesterday really got some people's blood up.  The voices favoring "leave her alone" were the most numerous, passionate and in the end -well reasoned.  So I will.

But it does leave me Memeless on Monday.  And what wannabe god worth his salt-of-the-earth would leave himself without a way to propagate his gospeil, know what I meme?

So if all the blabbering know-it-alls I mean, intelligent and thoughtful readers who have kindly commented earlier now have meme ideas that would work here, I'd love to hear 'em. 

Note to wife: "Why don't you show me a miracle and take the garbage out once in a while?" is NOT a meme.  And I told you I'm busy.  I cannot believe you'd embarrass me here like that.

To all non-nagging NAG's: I'm tossing a few ideas around myself, but none really POP.

Molest Me on Monday? -this is not a priest blog.  And virtual molesting?  Meh, I don't feel it.
Taunt Me on Tuesday? -too negative.  Plus it's a 15 yard penalty if the ref sees it.
Watch Me on Wednesday? -dressing?  Not until I lose weight and can get back into my Borat thong.
Thank Me on Thursday? -this would be strong ...if I Were God  ...or if I did anything...
Friend Me on Friday? -this 'aint Facebook, so no
Shank Me on Saturday? -this 'aint no prison bog neither, so no
Shave Me on Sunday? -if you lie back and think about, some real interesting possibilities might open.

Alright people.  So whadaya got?

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. I had a thought.

    Until I read Borat thong.

    Now I'm shuddering and quaking in fear.

    (And I don't think florescent green is your color. Not at all.)

  2. Whatever you do, make it about unconditional love. Anybody who demands respect can get the fuck out.

  3. What about tie me up Tuesdays? ...that could be fun...oh wait...you mean for the blog....hmmmmm...I am gonna have to get back to you on that. xoxo

  4. You have a really fun wife, god! Count your blessings!

  5. Wanton Wednesday?

    I need more to work with. Which is my way of saying I'm not coming up with anything good on my own.

  6. You don't need memes. You are one of the most creative writers around. Just write what you want. Be unconditionally loving if you want, or demanding if you want. You're God here. Enjoy the freedom it affords you.

  7. Okay, I don't even know what a meme is in the first place. Whatever it is, I don't think I want one if it asks questions like "Do you like lettuce?"

  8. Isn't Wednesday "Hump Day?"

    Spank Me on Saturday
    Thrill Me on Thursday
    F*** Me on Friday (too obvious?)
    Fulfill Me on Friday (cleaner version)
    Take Me on Tuesday
    Stun Me on Sunday (kinda rhymes)
    Wear Me Out on Wednesday

  9. I'm with Meg.

    It's more fun with just two.

    (Did I just SAY that??)

    Merciless Monday
    Taboo Tuesday
    Wanton Wednesday (nice work, Meg)

    and so on.

    Then again, I loathe memes, despite my extraordinary narcissism. I find them limiting.

    And I'm kind of not into those.

    - B x

  10. I agree with MikeWJ. Just write. If your last novel is any indication, people will flock to read what you write, you'll be insanely popular and wars will be waged over your words.

  11. Quirks,
    just the one thought? Maybe it left because it was lonely?

    Really, dood? Respect is easier to fake.

    you're on! (then off, then on, then off...)

    I can't afford to give her a swelled head. Which after all, is her job in the first place.

    you did just fine. I almost went with Wanton Wednesdays, but I knew Barreness would jump all over that and IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF BLOG. So I went with the much worse Borat joke.

    I do enjoy that freedom (does it not show?) but I have a shred of decency (just one, mind you) which gave me the restraint to not go after poor Java and let it out here instead. I had a feeling it would make for good post-post conversation.

    like sex, it all depends on how it's done. Know what I meme?

    I was bracing for "Finger Me Fridays" but you didn't go that way. (Despite rumors I'm spreading around about you)

    I knew you'd go there. There's currently no picture in the dictionary next to 'Wanton', I presume they're waiting for your permission.

    Yes but they only quote the words that suit them. "Thou Shalt Not Kill" are the first four they forget.