Thursday, August 11, 2011

So I was on Fox News today

video
Fox news finally recognized my (not really) divinity and swung by to ask for pearls of wisdom.  Finally, some recognition!

Actually it was just man-on-the-street interviews about the controversial new Twitter feed on Conde Naste elevator conversations.  You'd think with the current ongoing stock market cataclysms, the 3 dozen killed in the chopper shoot down and the sub orbital counterstrike of so-called "rods of god" (more on this blasphemy in a later post; but spoiler alert- I DID NOT KILL ANYONE WITH MY ROD) and the unfolding saga of the Norwegian killer would be more than enough fodder for their broadcast, wouldn't you?  But no, a cheesy twitter gimmick on par with 'people of walmart' seems equally newsworthy this of all weeks.  I guess in the age of Jersey Shore and Real Housewives we can't expect better anymore.  Oy

If you're not up on this non-story, somebody opened a Twitter feed of transcriptions of conversation fragments overhead on the elevators of magazine mega-publisher Conde Nast.  Priceless nuggets like "If she didn't want to know if she looked fat in that dress, why'd she ask me dude?  I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know!"  So apparently they went for the dumb and offensive as entertainment.

Anyway, they asked what I thought about it so I told them "I think that you hear a lot of stupid people saying a lot of stupid things.  But it's entertaining." Which if you think about it, is actually what Fox News is all about in the first place.  So I guess this is the perfect story for them.

-LATE BREAKING NEWS
that feed is now silent.  Somebody's trying to save their job.

12 comments:

  1. So, after years of silence, you decided to reveal yourself to Fox News?! I'm a little disappointed in you Gawd. Not the first time, though. Don't suppose it'll be the last. :-)

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  2. I don't care what Nicky says, you're damn cute! And I didn't really care what you had to say because I didn't know what you were talking about in the first place, but you looked good when you said it.

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  3. And I missed THIS?

    Where was I?

    (munching on popcorn listening to snooki, "I just wanna smush with a gorilla head, is that so wrong?")

    HA!

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  4. Oh, Nicky the Quicky,
    is there no pleasing you?

    Linda,
    thank you. Now go get glasses, Alice.

    Q,
    Jersey Shore?! For shame, Q, for shame! Don't you know you can get an STD just from watching it?

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  5. Did anybody else notice that the first comment was posted by Nicky Magdalene, descendant of Mary, Christ's most beloved disciple? Why isn't this on Fox News?

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  6. I may need my head examined, but I dont' need glasses.

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  7. Um, I think the elevator conversations have already been done for years by overheardinnewyork.com and I'm willing to bet done better. Just sayin'.

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  8. I know, I know! I shouldn't judge, lest I be judged. But in all fairness, God, it was FOX news!

    @Linda - I never said he wasn't cute. He's God. He might smite me for that.

    @Mike - Sorry, I'm of the Cucamonga Magdalenes, not the Galilee Magdalenes. Hardly newsworthy.

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  9. I was unable to get a good glimpse of who you were! It was blurry. However, the biggest surprise was your voice. I was unaware that your voice was going to be...be so...manly! Rawr!

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  10. Mike,
    it's because she's a liberal, so Fox won't give her any cred

    Angie,
    thanks! Flattery will get you everywhere.

    Linda,
    but I've heard from several sources that your head is just fine!

    Nan,
    true that, but maybe it drew so much heat because it was a marquee name and brand new it made a splash?

    Nicky,
    don't you know hangin' with sinners is my thing? Tryin' to save some souls over here, yo.

    Jonathan,
    What were you expecting? Perez Hilton?!

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  11. I've just completed a forty-four-year longitudinal study of human speech. Most human conversation can be summed up in two sentences spoken by Pink Floyd's shrieking British school master, "Wrong! Do it again!" I'm pretty sure if the world were to watch me masturbate, ninety-nine percent of people would say I'm doing it wrong. It's hard not to listen, but I try.

    You always give me lots to think about.

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