Sunday, August 14, 2011

Uganda and Fox News

Some things will never make sense to me, nor is their much chance of them ever being explained.  This site has never before received visitors from Uganda -which as we all know is the true measure of international acclaim- but since I was interviewed by Fox News the other day about the Conde Nast/Twitter thing and threw up
-a quick post about it (gotcha! No, I didn't barf) I got 10 pageviews from, you guessed it: Uganda.

And I can't imagine why.  Uganda?  This is weirder than when Guam made me president.  They were damn near crashing the server with all their hits.  Things have since cooled off with them, they're down to -let's see- zero?!  Oh, WTF Guam?  Is this over Australia?  All I did was take her to the prom.  Nothing happened, I swear.  C'mon baby, I miss you.

Anyway, UGANDA-

I didn't know they even got blogs in Uganda.  Or the Internet.  Or electricity.
Alright, I'm sure they have electricity.  But this blog is in English.  Maybe there's a few right wing fans of Fox News over there hungry for any snippet of their favorite western media outlet?  Maybe they're fashionistas hungry for news on fashion publishing titan Conde Nast?  Is Uganda a first-floor-only country jealous of our elevators and were following the elevator conversations angle of that twitter feed?  I may never know.

If somebody in Uganda could give me a call and explain this, I'd appreciate it.  -Borrow a phone from neighboring Kenya if you have to.

Okay, now I feel bad.  I'm not anti-Ugandan.  The Idi Amin days are far behind them now.  I'm sure Uganda has plenty of phone service, with mostly nice friendly people building their country up and just trying to make a decent living -like regular folks anywhere else in the world.  It can't help it if it's the Alabama of Africa.  Peace, Uganda.  Nobody stays Alabaman forever (except of course ...Alabama)

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles.
AT LEAST CLICK THE +1 AT THE BOTTOM ! (for judgement day xtra cred)
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. The internet moves in mysterious ways. Did you find out what link they were clicking to get here?

  2. I hate to break it to you [wannabe] God, but those were Ugandan telemarketers looking for potential spammees.

    Yes, even God gets spammed from time to time!


  3. IIWG, I had a similar Guam influx. I couldn't explain it either. Uganda though... now that is something to be proud of. Don't look a gift country in the Kyoga. Embrace your new followers and welcome them into yo... oh what the hell. Maybe people are connecting to you through the Ugandan route because they are covering their tracks. Like they live in a country where it's not okay to talk to If I Were God without being stoned to death. :D

  4. I think they just wanted a peek at you actually. I have a number of friends/followers from Nigeria. And as you know, I love Nigerians. But I also have friends (real life friends) from Botswana. They used to come and visit us all the time. African people are primarily pretty cool except when they are crazy, but that can be said of any country, can't it? Even those cold Nordic countries apparently have their share. I have never been contacted by Uganda people and now I'm jealous. But you don't have anybody in Turkey and I do.

  5. GB,
    not a clue. Aren't you the African expert?

    perhaps, but they've come and gone like a savannah rainstorm

    thanks for making me look up Kyoga; it's a shallow lake system in Uganda, y'all.

    didn't they get enough of a peek from the Fox video? I'm going to have to start drawing the blinds when I do my naked pilates from now on.

  6. Linda,
    why would you think I have nobody in Turkey? It took them a few months to catch on (fat gamebirds are not known for their speed) but they logged in at number 48, nestled in between Portugal and Lithuania. (Yes, I obsessively keep count and track of when countries log on for the first time) So there!

  7. You are so damn lucky. I have two friends in Iceland, real people who have sex and babies and everything. They read my blog, but Google Analytics records no readers in Iceland. Ah, well. Makes me try harder.

  8. Dissing Uganda's tech savvy, phone service and building configurations = clever.

    Comparing them to ALABAMA? = yer a cruel deity...

  9. Little known fact. Uganda is crazy technological.... People are calling it the new African Atlantis! Just thought you should know!

  10. Fredzilla,
    are you sure they're reading and not too busy being fruitful and multiplying?

    HONEST, I'm an honest deity

    yeah... Atlantis is a myth too. You did know that, right?

  11. Yeah! What in the hell is up with the hits from Uganda (or, in my case, Turkmenistan, if you believe that.) Bizarre.