Friday, March 2, 2012

Gay marines, dumpsters and closet slaves

They're not all part of the same story (though that would be interesting).  These were just some of the fascinating news items this week that got me thinking.

Marine Corps Sgt. Brandon Morgan (right) greets his boyfriend with a passionate kiss at an on-base military-family homecoming. A friend photographed the embrace, which was posted on the "Gay Marine" Facebook page. (Courtesy of Facebook)THE GAY MARINE KISS UPSETS MANY
   Hard to believe things like this are still an issue.  The hubbub is no more than old fashioned bigotry rearing it's aged head again.  There was the same outcry when interracial couples first publicly crossed the smooch barrier.  That's not an accepted bigotry anymore and it's a bit immature of us as a culture that this still is.
  Obviously there is love here, and they have every right.  That's absolutely true regardless of who it make uncomfortable.  On the other hand, Ewww.
   I'm not a hypocrite.  Don't you be one either.  If they have a right to their feelings for each other
-which they do- then I have a right to my feelings as well, okay?  Okay.  To wit, my feelings are Ewwwwwww.....

   Can't afford a 'real' place in these hard times?  Just as there's 'if the world gives you lemons make lemonade' now there's 'if the world gives you dumpsters make a dumpsterdwelling.' 
   It puts me in mind of the old quote "The Lord helps those who help themselves." Which is either indicative of an empowering god who really believes in the 'rise above' ability of his creations, or a lazy deity who can't be bothered to get his omnipotent ass off the couchcloud.
  If I were He, I'd have this invention become the latest hit in the micro-house market and let the inventor make some bank.

   Obviously the dumpster life isn't for everybody, but it beats being a slave in a closet.  As the breaking story goes an immigrant from India came to live as a maid and nanny for the owners of this palatial mansion.  These wealthy bastards then basically enslaved the poor woman, forcing 17hr days 7 days a week for the past 5+ years.  When investigators got wind of this and began closing in the 'lady' of the house called the woman's relatives in India to enlist their help in persuading the victim to help in the cover up.  The relative taped the calls and passed them on to the authorities.
   It's the phone calls that really got me.  This person was so used to wealth and privilege that although she understood what she'd done was illegal, she didn't really feel it was that wrong.  Otherwise she'd be too ashamed to contact her maid/slave's family in India, much less try to enlist their support in a cover up.
   There is such a thing as having too much money.  That's what this story means to me.  One can have so much compared to other people that one comes to believe they're above those other people and the laws of common decency as well.
   The solution (if I were god) is obvious; have them switch places.  As Sting sang so long ago Then you'll find your servant is your master
   I'm a fan of divine justice, especially the poetic kind.

Lastly but not leastly I've just received a Lobster award from Angie of Angie Uncovered.  (And when she says 'uncovered', oh boy!) It's my first award from a pole-dancer, and as such I was surprised, honored and horrified in equal parts. 

Surprised, since I didn't even know that I was qualified for the coveted lobster. I can only assume it's for how well my generous tail tastes in butter.

Honored, because nude women don't usually take note of me until after I've climbed in the bathroom window and yanked the shower curtain aside.   

Never accept a secondhard award like this
if they've never even bothered to wash the
lube off it first.  Lesson learned.

Horrified, because well, it is a second hand award.  Angie got it before me, and I guess her awarder got it from the person before her and so on back to patient zero.  I'm not normally a germaphobe but this thing's been passed around more times than Lindsay Lohan at a biker rally.  I bought a 55 gallon drum of anti-microbial soap to give it a full immersion treatment before actually touching it, and rinsed it off with water fired from my department's deck gun just to be sure.  So, thank you Angie.  (Use of the deck gun was free, but you owe me $87.50 for the soap.)

When you've really, really, REALLY gotta
hose something down -use the deck gun.


  1. Honey, your "deck gun" wasn't worth the soap used to scrub me down when it was all done, otherwise I would totally pony up the dough. Also, I gave you the award based solely on the flair with which you pulled back the shower curtain.

  2. Congratulations on the award.

    Now, really, "ewwwwwww...". Is this the same healthy and horny dude who loves almost any kind of girl on girl action? Doesn't this make you feel a little, uh, hypocritical?

    Storage units would work better for mini-housing. I'm thinking of setting one up in the backyard so I'll have a place to banish my husband when he misbehaves.

  3. Angie,
    and that, ladies and gentlemen, was my 1000th comment! -a scathing, undeserved and mostly untrue disparagement of my most hollowed equipment (how's it supposed to work if it isn't hollow?)

    now you know girl+girl isn't 'ewwwww'.
    it's 'Ohhhhhh' followed by 'yeahhhhhh'.
    And it makes me feel a little, uh, warm and squishy inside, not hypocritical.

  4. See, this is why I continue to call you God. I like you better than the one who can't get his lazy ass off the couchcloud.

    Congratulations on getting a lobster and not crabs. I'm sure your family, especially Mrs.God, are very proud. And relieved.

  5. I agree wholeheartedly on #1. To each his own, and ewwwwwwww. Just not my thing. If it's someone else's? I would fight to the death for their right to have it, just as I would hope they would fight for the liberty of all to enjoy and/or have an opinion on anything else.

    I am now going to go check out the link where you got the crabs... uh, lobster.

  6. Not Actually GodMarch 7, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    NOT ACTUALLY god. And don't worry, the only crabs we get are for boiling in the pot

    Just so you know: Angie isn't actually uncovered, nor did I get crabs from her OR ANYONE ELSE

    Note to wife: I do not have crabs. It was just an itch you saw me scratching. Just a regular non-crabbish itch. Could happen to anyone.