If I were God I'd add a few new creatures to the menagerie. After dipping my hands into the CreationClay TM (patent pending) I molded my first new critter; the squirreldog, a gotta-have. He's definately in. But as a populist diety, I'd like to hear which of the other proposed new creatures catches your fancy.
-very like the common varieties of bees in that they pollinate flowers and make honey. This species’ reaction to scents is not restricted to a love of flowers however, but extends to a hate of foul smells. If a human who hasn’t showered in a while enters the vicinity of even a single B.O. bee it will buzz angrily, attracting the rest of the swarm which will then go after that person like a biblical plague. If the person makes it safely inside a building or car the bees will wait patiently for a chance to avenge their irritated noses. The only way he or she can go safely outside again is to bathe, as the scent of soap and shampoo induces a valium-like calm on the swarm who then return to the hive for a honey latte and a nap.
-ever been out camping when nature calls but you don’t have any toilet paper handy? No worries. You can drop your pants and do what you must wherever you happen to be. The smell will inevitably draw a small flock of nature’s newest avians; the stoolpidgeon. No, they won’t tell a soul about your outdoor defecation. But they will come close enough for you to grab them and use them as if they were a balled up wad of TP for a quick wipe.
(Not to be mistaken for Mothra-in-law, who famously nagged
to ruins) Tokyo
-a wildly unpopular new creature, the moth-in-law is so named for being drawn to the pheromones of married men. Unlike conventional moths which only leave larva which eat clothes, the moth-in-law actually feeds off male unhappiness, following the unfortunate husband around in order to make harassing comments at his place of work “You call this a job? No wonder you can’t support the household on your own like a real man.” Fortunately, the moth-in-law is a slow overweight insect with poor vision, making it a favorite and easy prey for birds. Many a harried husband has put out bird feeders around the house, car and place of business to draw hungry birds to his vicinity.
-a little known but increasingly popular gift for unpopular bosses and wealthy in-laws. It appears to be a simple houseplant, but at the rise of the full moon it transforms into the same genus of carnivorous flora as the plant in ‘Little Shop of Horrors’, devouring the first human to come within reach. Smart gifters of the plant normally wait for the day or two after the last full moon before presenting a were-plant to their supervisors or in-laws. By the time it were-ifies four weeks later nobody can remember where it came from or who brought it over in the first place.
-a dark cow that gives chocolate milk instead of white. Though usually friendly and known to have rhythm, the cocoacow is forseen to be harassed by local authorities; profiled for special attention, pulled over for simply being on cowpaths in the better neightborhoods, and framed for crimes it could never have committed.