Thursday, January 6, 2011

do My work, get 'paradise points'!

As you can imagine (and being the one who gave you imaginations in the first place, I know you can), I've got a lot of world to cover.  Though I do take time to dally with this blog when I can, other things needing attention are always popping up.  Right now for instance there's a boyscout leader downloading kiddie porn in the warmth and seclusion of his basement utilities room.  Boilers don't just explode on their own, you know.  And of course, Super Smitin' Smackdown Saturday (I haven't quite settled on the word order yet) is right around the corner, so as you can see, my plate is full.

Even so, I am growing a little bored with My "Reasons to Believe" rotation, seen at the right.  I could squeeze it in the schedule, or I could let some of you who are willing do some good works.  I'd like to hear some suggestions from the faithful.  Here's the current line-up as it stands. 

The recipe for these should be obvious, but for any Jersey Shore fans out there I will spell it out.  Two persons or things that share a name, concept, or rhyme but have values so opposite that the mere sight of one is enough to inspire the thought "there must be a god", while the other inspires such distain... you get it.

I believe in my very creative and lively readership, as they believe in Me, so I'm looking forward to some good ideas.  The best ones will be made a permanent part of the Reasons rotation and the (non)eternal reward will be some paradise points useable at the pearly gates (where I sometimes do nights as security), or a short guest blog spot -with links- here if that is preferred.  Alternatively, for any 'fundamentalist' readers -these poinst are redeamable for 72 Virgin-Atlantic* sky miles.

I see some of you smiling in anticipation already.  And it pleases Me.

*Virgin-Atlantic will of course claim not to know what the hell you're talking about.  This is just cause to don your native land's traditional attire, rush down to the airport ticket counter in a rage, and begin waving your hands angrily while shouting in your native tongue for them to honor your points.  Cavity searches may be given in lieu of sky miles.

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles.  He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. Tom Brady - Marcia Brady . . .

    One is feminine and obsessed with hairstyles, the other was on a fictional 70's sitcom.

  2. Better still...Tom Brady/Marcia Brady:

    One spends all day in front of a mirror, obsessing over hairstyles, the other has a sister named Jan.

  3. Will Rogers/Wlll Ferrell:

    One never met a man he didn't like, the other never made a movie that didn't suck.

  4. Paris, France -- Paris Hilton

    Unbelievable Beauty - Unbelievable

  5. Good work, my loyal minions! A few of these have legs.
    Keep 'em coming.

  6. I like being a "minion". It's kind of like being a mignon, isn't it?

  7. A lesser diety would make a 'well done' joke here. But methinks we're both above such petty one-liners, a rare quality on this plane.