This blog was created 3 weeks ago to be about upgrades for Creation, and it's time I got specific.
If I were God...
Beauty would be earned, not given out blindly at birth like some half-assed lottery. All children would start out looking average. The cooler you were to your fellow man, the better looking you'd get as you grew up. The more of a dick you were, the more you'd look like my dog's ass. (Can you imagine what Dick Cheney would look like now? Eesh.)
[The above excerpt is from my forthcoming book "What if God is Cheating on Us?" coming soon to a website near you]
I think that's a perfect place to start the upgrading. It not only rewards the good and punishes the bad, it's an external conscience, a needful thing as so many ignore their inner one. You'd either wake up in the morning to find your pores are a little smaller and acne disappearing and you know "I must be doing alright". OR you'd find that little spot on your nose has become a wart the size and general shape of Justin Beiber's head. Then you'd know you've been a dick and it's time to change. Once it starts singing, it's too late.
The other huge benefit is the good could spot the bad a mile away and know to keep away from them. (For those without binoculars it might be only a hundred yards or so, but still...) Cops chasing a masked bank robber who ducks into a store would just have to look everybody over once to know who to 'cuff "You, with the teen sensation on your nose, put your hands up and turn around slowly!"
A good day in Creation 2.0 (Feel free to act as my review board, and let me know if you approve)
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