Stop Hating on Guam!
Well it didn't take long for the haters to resent the attention Guam is now basking in. Nasty rumors have been spread and in the interests of truth, I must refute them. [Somebody please pass this to Sarah Palin as an example of the proper use of the word 'refute' -thx]
If you come here you will not get Guamorrhea. Sun and good food, yes. Fictitious diseases, no.
Nobody lives in huts made of batshit and straw called Guamdominiums. They live in nice houses, like you.
No crazed practitioners of Tae Guam Do will attack you in the street. It's an island, not a Jet Li movie.
Locals do not travel smelly canals in Guamdolas. You're thinking of Venice. Beautiful there too, BTW.
Guam is in fact, so breathtakingly lovely that visitors unused to it's beauty may need an inhaler just to stay conscious. It's not surprising that it is enjoying such a global resurgence in popularity these last few days that it is now by far the world's most frequently mentioned country in articles and posts written about Guam.
I hope this clears a few things up. As for the scurrilous rumors, I have my best gossip-trackers on the case now. And when when they let me know who's bearing false witness, well then, somebody's going to get smote!