Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A new Goddess takes the throne

-in this week's WannaBe Wednesday

Let us lavishly lay the laurel of Goddess for a day on Jayne from In Jayne'sWorld for her winning "If..." in answer to last Wednesday's challenge posed in the Fattest States in America post one week ago.  She has earned her time on the throne, making her ass the new 'seat' of power -at least for a day.

Jayne's commandment:

If I were God all the crap that tastes good would actually be good for you. I mean, really -- what the hell's with that anyway?
The brilliance of any creation is in the details.

Limbaugh was wrong, God is a liberal.
Hers is an uniquely American solution to be sure; rather than recognize ourselves as the problem and make ourselves better through moderation, discipline and self-reliance -we can stay the same if we just reclassify the problem itself.  Then we are not the problem, the problem is the problem.  Flip it.  Bad is the new good.  And now that it is, can you go ahead and super-size that for me?

I think I'm talking myself out of her coronation now by remembering the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  And chocolate.  Thick creamy blocks of chocolate, laid out like cobble stones -right up to the lake of fire. 

I better get out of here before Jayne's enthronement turns into a smiting.  Reese's peace's be with you.

PS- that's two ladies taking Diety for a Day, zero guys.  Why is that?

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. I think it's time to face the distinct possibility that God may really be a woman.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to throw out all my porn.

  2. No need, kiddo.

    Just upgrade to Andrew Blake.

    She'll approve.

  3. I worship women, regardless.

    Playboy ran a picture of Miss Witherspoon with her headlights on showing through her shirt. Called it "Reese's pieces."

  4. I'm sorry God, but I must correct your INomniscience (I have no idea if that's a word, or if I spelled it correctly, you can deal with me later heh heh).

    First of all: "making her ass the new 'seat' of power -at least for a day"

    It's "maker her SIZE FOUR ass the new...."

    Second of all: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And chocolate."


    And what about cheesecake?


    Why me God? Why me?


  5. I've always thought that same thing. Make broccoli the new chili cheese fries and make IN-N-OUT Burgers the new granola.

    Why is that so wrong?

  6. This reminds me of Woody Allen's schtick in "Sleeper," when he wakes up in 2173 and learns that science has proved steak and cigars are good for you. It's a great film, and I live about 30 minutes from the spaceship house where parts of it were filmed.

  7. Thank you. I'm truly honored and thank you Quirkyloon for pointing out that obvious error. ;)

  8. Jayne is a fine deity, I agree. But when I first read it I thought it said "Dirty of the Day" and I knew that must be me.

  9. Wait! We can elect a God? Does it only have to be for a day? 'Cause if not, I say we make Jayne God for at least a millennium or two!

  10. Really Nicky...
    Your loyalty to the current administration is breathtaking. Speaking of breath-taking, I'd be careful going outside -espedially in the rain. (& at intersections, the tops of stairs...)

    To all others NOT rocketing to the top of the Smite schedule: thank you for your kind, funny and loyal comments. YOUR places are assured.

  11. Now you're making the road to Hell sound really appealing what with the chocolate everywhere.