Friday, April 1, 2011

God admits "I don't exist"

News headlines are popping in from around the world by the second in response to this stunning revelation.  Like most people, all I can do is sit here stunned, and wait for more information.

NY Post
"Aethiests:  We're not stunned, we're right."

National Enquirer
Nietzsche gloats from the grave "Told ya!"

NY Times
Aethiests celebratory mood quickly ruined by new lack of purpose

USA Today
Who will damn for us now?

Vatican Times
Garage Sale Tomorrow: Everything must go!

Doubter's Daily
Marketing ploy to get Elvis/Tupac-like 'gone' bump?

While it's still too early to know what the truth is, we must all be prepared for it possibly being true.
This blog may have to be renamed "If I existed..."

Updates as they occur.

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. Uh, I don't really know what to say. Okay, here's something. If God does not exist, who do we pray to? Where do we put our money on Sunday if there's no collection box? How can we feel superior to those poor Pagan babies we used to send money to? If there's no God, then anarchy must be the rule! We all will go steal,lie, kill, rape, plunder, and burn to advance our own well being. Wait, I'm a pagan in the first place! I don't steal, lie, kill, rape, plunder, or burn stuff. But I am seriously concerned about all of my religious neighbors because they might start doing all those things. Couldn't you have waited a while to make this big announcement. Right before a weekend is never the best time.

  2. “If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?” ~Art Hoppe

  3. *smug*



    *laughing a little at the NY Times headline*

  4. I think God is like brain cells. We were always taught that once they're gone, they're gone. But the newest research says that we actually do produce new ones. I think that's what will happen to God, now.

  5. Leave it to God to make this announcement on a Friday and hope the news will be buried over the weekend.