Monday, April 25, 2011

Muzzle Me on Monday

Last Monday I participated in a meme called "Meet Me On Monday", which regular readers here have seen now and again.  I got a little bored with the questions (you can see the last one a few posts below) and for a meme offering "Meet Me" I didn't think that questions like "What's your favorite vegetable?" really allowed you to 'meet' anyone.

As most of you know, improving the world one dictum at a time is my calling.  So I left a comment there in the field marked "I love, love, love comments!! Thank you for taking the time and for making my day!! I read every single one and if you ask a question please be sure that I will get back to you as soon as I can!"

I received such a dramatic and outraged reply I felt compelled to reread what I had written.  I clicked over to the scene of the crime to find it GONE.  It was like a CIA clean-up team had rappelled in and erased all evidence of a hit; there was no trace of bodies nor blood.  Not even a chalk outline to commemorate where a brave young comment once stood his ground to be heard -and was cut down for it in the prime of life. (Not unlike Crispus Attucks, the first man shot dead by the redcoats in the Boston Massacre!)

So the best I can do is paraphrase that brave young comment, as closely as I remember him:

I wish the questions weren't always so bland.  I don't feel like I've really met anybody.  Maybe try (some underwear query I can't recall, maybe "Ever go commando?")

Also I see your button has three women on it but no men.  Are men not welcome here?  I'm starting to feel like an unwanted little boy.  Unless of course that button were on my shirt, in which case there'd be three woman on me which would be just fine.

This is apparently the commental equivalent of the Boston Tea Party.  How could the crown not respond?
Three days later a comment shows up on my Meet Me post (still available in all its un-censored glory below)

Java said...

If you feel my questions are too bland then please do not play and please do not leave any more inappropriate comments like you did. My blog is not run like that and I do not appreciate it. I will delete them and/or your linky entries if you continue to do so. I have gotten lots of complaints about you and your comments so please refrain and keep them to yourself and your blog...not mine.

Who helped you write that comment?
Was it, I don't know... SATAN?

Did I let this go unanswered?  Not on your life.
I sent her a private email, so there'd be no public pressure,
and to give her a chance to redeem herself.

I was a bit surprised to get such an unpleasant comment from you on my 'Monday' post. You brought up a few different issues and I will try to address them.

I honestly think the questions aren't deep enough to give any real insight into the fellow bloggers who participate. (the stated goal of the meme in the first place) I used 'bland' originally -a pretty mild criticism intendended to make the meme better. I didn't realize that in your community other opinions and different personalities were NOT welcome.

One of the unhappy people, Doylene, left a comment on my blog letting me know how she felt. I did NOT tell her she was unwelcome in the future, nor did I delete or edit her comment. This is America. I don't censor.

When I came back to the "Meet Me" to re-read the comment I left that set this whole thing off it was gone. I read all the others to see the 'many complaints' you said you got about me. I could find none. Did you purge them all? Do you decide whose voice gets heard?

As far as what you called 'inappropriate comment' I guess you're referring to the button joke about there being only women on it? If you read the comments on my own site you'll see some visited because they appreciated the joke and took it in the spirit in which it was intended.

At the end of the day it's still your site. You can choose to bully me off your site if you like -because I had the nerve to suggest an improvement. Is that really who you are? Is this really the Java I've met?


ps- I sent this privately on your 'contact me' so you would not feel publically challenged or chastised by me. I am not trying to be mean or bully you. For me this is a serious conversation between adults.

So she got privately challenged instead.  I knew suggesting she was a bully would compel a reply.
And any god (false or not) worth his salt is all about compelling.  (Check your Bible, it a compilation of compelling.)
Anywho, it only took a day for Java to answer.

Thank you for taking the time to get back to me.  Sometimes its hard to express oneself in words and how another interprets them.

I have deleted all comments related to the complaints from your comments....yours included.  I just did it last night so if you don't see any its because I deleted them.
The world is full of many different walks of life and it is really hard to please everyone.  I myself thought your comments could have easily offended some people and yes I did have several send me private messages regarding them.  I know you probably meant nothing but humor when you posted them but you have to remember that not everyone gets each other's humor.

One of the reasons Meet Me On Monday is so popular is because of the simplicity.  I never post questions that take a lot of time and effort.  I get lots of feedback regarding the questions and most are glad that I make it "easy" for them.  Posting a question regarding someone's underwear is just not something I would do.  My blog is a family blog and while yours may or may not be makes the difference between what is appropriate and what isn't.  It is also listed in the rules that you have to link the url of your post and not your whole blog which you have been doing and it makes a lot of extra work for myself to go in and fix it.  You are not the only one but I am slowing getting everyone to correct the way they link up.

I tried to send you a private message but no where on your blog could I find an email address.
I don't appreciate you saying that I'm bullying you off of my site.  You mentioned bully twice in your email and I don't know what you are suggesting.

I don't come to your blog and make appropriate or inappropriate suggestions on what you post.  Your blog is your blog as mine is mine and we need to respect each others content and what should and shouldn't be commented or suggested.

I hope you have a great weekend

Telling me not to 'play' again if I don't love her questions and threatening to kick me off (via deletion) if I have a differing opinion or suggestion qualifies as bullying in my book.  I think she's trying to build a church lady club but doesn't want to admit it.  She again failed to address the 'why no men?' question which I'd asked her once before.
My wife thinks I have tortured the poor woman enough and should leave her blog free of my ungodly taint.
(For the record, I don't think my taint is so ungodly.  I maintain it with the utmost cleanliness, which as we all know is allegedly next to godliness.  Allegedly.)  So, what to do from here?

I'd like to gather the opinions of the faithful.  Let me know...

Should I leave this Java and her meme alone?
Should I rattle her cage again and say censorship IS bullying, AND unAmerican?
Should I start a new meme with cool, relevant and riot-sparking questions of my own?
Should I stop scrubbing my taint so much, at least until the swelling goes down?

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. Ay, yi, yi! God's at it again. Stirring up trouble. Yikes.

    And I love it! hee hee

    I think you should start your own Meme and call it Muzzle Me Mondays! And if you do? I'll do it. Promise. (Now you're not gonna send me to hell if I don't right?) hee hee

  2. I say expand and make sure to rile her up with it. Censorship has no business in public writing. If she didn't want comments and concrit then she shouldn't be blogging. She should start herself a private little club and leave the inet to those who will use it as the time consuming controversy it is.

  3. Leave the Java alone. I like what ever you do, and I think you have enough problems without worrying about someone who finds you inappropriate. For god's sake, there's Libya, there's Japan, there's Syria, and political unrest all over. I do not feel offended by anything you write ever. But then I am a pagan. This reaction to you is nonsense. Please do what you do, but forget about anyone who is offended. You don't need that chick in your stable. You have the rest of us. Blogging should be fun. If it's not fun for you, don't read it. Plus, you are certainly "family friendly", at least to my little pagan family. Rock on, Dude. (I mean, god.)

  4. Babe..I agree with's not worth the time and effort and it will take away from what you give to all of us!! Now make me laugh!!!!xoxo

  5. I think Crystal makes a good point about the open blog...does she want feedback from everyone or just those that agree with her... But. I'm with Linda. To me, arguing online is a waste of time and emotion. There are so many other things you could be doing. Like, would a 65 degree day on this island be too much to ask for every now and then?

  6. Sigh. Always gotta be controversial, don't you? Ok, God, I must play Devil's advocate now. (I've been waiting to use that FOREVER and I know I'm using it incorrectly, but I don't care!). It's her blog and she can do what she wants with it. Even if it sucks. It's here meme and she can do what she wants with it. Even if it sucks moose. You can rattle her cage some more, or you can ignore her, or you can smite her if Thou so choose. The thing is, in the end, censorship is a fact of life here in the blogoshpere (and I would argue it's not as un-American as you would like it to be). You can rile her, you can alienate her but in the end, you can't change her and you certainly can't buy her a sense of humour. It's up to you to decide. I realize, historically, you haven't always made the best decisions (seriously, locusts? A bit melodramatic, don't you think?)so consider what I've said. Whatever you do, or don't do, she's going to continue being her. Is it worth your time and energy? Or couldn't that time and energy be better spent sending me this week's winning lottery numbers?

  7. I say leave her alone. Only because whatever you say or do now will be taken the wrong way, and as fun as that is...for YOU (and by association, us), she'll just get all worked up about it and upset and so will her followers and then you'll have a whole passel of Dana Carvey look-alikes coming after you with their oversized vinyl purses and who needs THAT?

    FYI, the only poll I've made on Facebook since they started that "make a poll" option is one regarding the type, style or lack of underwear people employ. Guess you could "friend" me and answer that one ;)

  8. Doylene and Java are loved unconditionally here. What more do they want? Damn!

    There are none besides thee, you shit-stirrer, you.

  9. Actually, I did censor a man a long time ago. I had written a post called "Dirty Words" and the subject was actually the things my children and I used as "dirty", not an actual list of profanity. The kids would warn each other not to step in the "shimunga" on the sidewalk, for example. The man left a comment laced with extremely vile profanity and I really wasn't comfortable with it on my post. So I deleted it, and contacted him telling him why. He took himself off the "follower" list and that was okay with me. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I just wasn't comfortable with what he had written. I did not feel great about it, but each of us does what we feel okay with on our posts. People don't always see "eye to eye" and that's how you made them, Honey.

  10. Fine points and well argued by all. In the end I will leave this Java be. She softened in her reply and I think I already dinged her with the 'bully' comment.

    I sense in her a gentle soul who did not know how to handle me and so got defensive. Wouldn't have been a fair fight anyway -no fun in that.

    Linda and Nicki however; those babes can brawl! Who's got some hot oil and a kiddie pool I can borrow for them?

  11. Oh, man, you really fucked up. I love it, and I'm no fan of censorship. However, I dump people who don't have a sense of humor like hot brimstone. Why bother with them? There are millions of bloggers. You're looking for something deeper. Go find it.

  12. Nicky and I seriously can brawl. But we have to be on the same tag team, if you get my drift!

  13. Really, NAG?

    Your concern disappoints me.

    I read about three lines of her response and was instantly bored.

    I can't even be f*cked to check out her blog because anyone who choses to write in the public domain and then cannot handle even the slightest bit of criticism from said pubic seems to me to be severely lacking in scrotum.

    And I, for one, am a great fan of scrotum.

    Give her not one more moment of your precious brain power, my love.

    - B x

  14. Yes, No, Yes, and Yes. You made your point, eloquently, and that's about as much as you'll be able to really accomplish, IMVHO. At some point, you disengage for your own good.

    (Sexual metaphor very much intended.)