In two days, on April 21, If I Were God... will be six months old.
This calls for a celebration; a party even! And you're all invited. What should you bring?
I dunno. What does one give for a half birthday?
Not a homemade cake - it would be half baked
Not birthday sex - it would be half faked
Not a new body - it would be half assed
Not a new flag - it would be at half mast
Not new love - it would be half hearted
Not a new haircut - it would be half parted
Not a midget bride - she'd be a half wife
Not a radiated rabbit - he'd have a half life
Not a refurbished laptop - it would only be half fixed
Not an instant margarita - it would only be half mixed
Not a new drinking buddy - who's already half in the bag
Not his drunk dog either - who can only half wag
I guess not a new anything - if it would be half crappy
I guess on a half birthday, you can only be half happy