Thursday, April 7, 2011

World Map of Breast Sizes

It's only fair.  Not to compare apples and oranges, but the size map for bananas was up last week, so now it's time for the mellons.

The more one ponders the broader implications of the regional disparities, the more some things about our world start making sense.

China: A cup
Japan: A cup

Small breasts means less milk; which means less nutrition for growth during that critical first year, which means smaller people overall.  The availability of baby formula in the modern era came far too late to mitigate millenia of half rations.  There's a lot more jockeys in those countries than basketball players.
I assume Yao Ming had a Russian wet nurse.

Russia: D+ cup

Maybe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.  Outside of the popular girls from "Keeping up with the Kremlinettes", maybe having so much eye candy everywhere is too distracting.  It could have been a contributing factor to the collapse of communism.  Who wants to counter the capitalist menace by deploying missiles around the world when Olga's silo's are practically spilling into your lap?

Italy: C cup
Germany: D cup

Is this why the Romans went north and invaded Germania?  Plundering the Persian empire to the east and North Africa to the south for boatloads of their baubles and bullion may have brought them satisfaction, but the native B cups of those regions did not.  For that, they had to march north.


Very near the top, but not quite there.  Don't count the americans out quite yet.  As the breast augmentation capital of the world the USA is determined to close the booby gap by any means necessary.

So why is this IF I Were God... material?

Not just for the sake of fairness and balance after last week's penis size map, but to again point out another missed opportunity.  Women like men (in general), men like breasts (in gen- always).  It makes the draw of a nice rack a very huge plus for the women who have them, but gives a confidence lowering disadvantage to the women who don't.  Not.  fair.  If I were god I'd have it be earned. (like beauty

Personalities are pretty much set by the time girls hit puberty; who they are is set before their cup size is.  I'd simply let that be the trigger for growth.  The nicer you were, the more it would show.  Mother Theresa would've been the new Pam Anderson.  Her work with the poor would've received a lot more attention than it did and I'm sure donations to her charity would've been through the roof.  "Her heart was so big, it was nearly bursting through her chest!"

Pretending to be nice wouldn't be possible.  The proof of how genuine a woman's smile is would be hanging right below it.  And the real sweethearts?  You could spot them a mile away.

Ah, what a world it would be, if I were -you know.

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 
He sees all; disappoint Him not.


  1. Now I know that American men have the reputation for liking large bosoms. Oddly, I know quite a few men who much prefer smaller breasts and find the big ones "cow like". As a "real sweetheart", I have tried to convince a number of male friends that "more is better" but to no avail. They simply love their tiny temptresses. Well, I think the size thing is frequently blown way our of proportion anyway.

  2. Right here, Linda. I like the smaller ones.

    I feel sorry for women who have to say "size doesn't matter." It does. No woman on earth would say they like smaller penises. So they say size doesn't matter. Women are, by nature, dishonest. And I love them for it.

  3. Before anybody lynches father Fred for
    "Women are by nature, dishonest."

    I offer the first stanza from Billy Joel's "She's Always a Woman"

    She can kill with a smile
    She can wound with her eyes
    She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
    And she only reveals what she wants you to see
    She hides like a child,
    But she's always a woman to me

  4. It does beg the question, do we force them to lie? (If 'force' is too strong, try 'push')

    Studies do show that younger, thinner, prettier women get hired and promoted faster THAN I DO. And I'm pissed. *chuckle* ...faster than older, heavier, plainer women do. The disparity is even greater when it comes to dating & mating. So what's a Snookie to do? Buy a lie;
    pumps to make you look taller
    wonder bras to make you look bustier
    hair extensions...
    make up...
    It may take a lot of 'lies' to give a women an almost even chance.
    It's sadder still if you consider that women still make less on average for the same job, but must incur all these extra expenses to be considered for that job -which may pay them less.

  5. Smaller penises are just fine. I've tried many and I can honestly say that how you use what god gave you is more important than girth. Big is fine too within limits. I wouldn't want one that opened whole new things for me.

  6. There's a limit to big boobs being attractive. Freakish is a bad thing. Too small isn't optimal, but it's not a deal-breaker.

    Give me a pretty face and a sense of humor, and I'm absolutely fine. And luckily, I've already got that very combination to go home to every night.

  7. Dude you should totally sell poster size maps. Every college boy would buy one.

  8. God, I would totally hire and promote you over a younger, thinner, prettier woman. I wouldn't even look at your breasts.

  9. Dear Notactually,

    There's only one "L" in melons and breast size has nothing to do with milk production.

    I'm going straight to hell now, aren't I?

  10. I had something witty and disarming to say (as usual), but then I read your second comment about forcing women to lie and now all I can think is that I actually do fancy you a little bit.

    Which, as an atheist I find exhorbitantly creepy.

    The worst part?

    We've been "suggested" into lying for so long, we've actually fooled ourselves into believing that we LIKE sky-high stilettos and push up bras.

    And yes, I count myself among this group.


    - B x

  11. I am really surprised to see that Russia has the largest cup size, on average. When I think of Russia I have two images in my head:

    1. Tiny little waifs who dominate in gymnastics at the Olympics, and

    2. Super burly dudes with tree trunks for thighs who dominate in the dead lift at the Olympics.

    Huh, I guess I see Russia as an athletic country.

  12. Linda,
    I had no idea you were such a connnoisseur; should we be looking forward to a top 10 list from you soon?

    you don't know what you're missing

    there's only one 'L' in actual melons, for ladyfruit there should be two lest they be unbalanced

    B my B,
    only "a little bit"? Back of the line, wench!

    they might be packing with snow for all I know, I didn't make the map, Gingah

  13. Actually, that would be my top 40 or so.

  14. Oh "not actually" father, who art in "not actually" heaven. I pray that you provide us with a map depicting countries with the highest ass to waistline ratio (women's waistline, of course). I need some vacation ideas for the upcoming summer. Amen.

  15. I was feeling inadequate as a mere C cup until I realized two things:

    1) The average American woman is heavier than I am and generally bigger girls have, well, bigger girls.

    2) While I see plenty of skinny models with better endowments, mine are real.

    Anyway, a handful is enough, right?

  16. It's really a nice and useful piece of information. I'm satisfied
    that you simply shared this helpful info with
    us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

    Review my website; visit Website

  17. I'm impressed, I have to admit. Seldom do I come across a blog that's both educative and amusing, and without a
    doubt, you've hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I'm very happy that I found
    this during my search for something concerning this.

    Feel free to surf to my webpage - A Nude Model

  18. I visited several blogs however the audio quality for audio songs
    existing at this site is actually superb.

    my page - visit

  19. I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up!
    I'll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later on. All the best

    Stop by my homepage ... visit website

  20. Good site you have here.. It's hard to find good quality writing like yours these days. I seriously appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!

    Here is my web blog :: the porn reviews

  21. I am sure this paragraph has touched all the internet visitors, its
    really really nice piece of writing on building up new website.

    Here is my homepage ... more

  22. Great post. I used to be checking constantly this blog and I'm inspired! Extremely useful info specifically the remaining section :) I deal with such information a lot. I used to be seeking this certain information for a long time. Thanks and good luck.

    my weblog ...

  23. I simply couldn't leave your web site before suggesting that I actually loved the usual information a person supply to your visitors? Is going to be back ceaselessly to check up on new posts

    Look into my weblog ... In Nubiles Nicoleray
    my web page > visit

  24. whoah this blog is excellent i really like reading your posts.

    Stay up the great work! You know, lots of persons are searching
    round for this information, you can aid them greatly.

    Here is my weblog here are the findings -

  25. Hello to all, the contents present at this web page are truly awesome for people experience, well, keep
    up the good work fellows.

    Feel free to visit my web blog - Read Significantly more
    my website > Org.Uk

  26. Excellent website. Plenty of useful info here. I am sending it to several pals ans additionally sharing in
    delicious. And naturally, thank you to your sweat!

    Here is my weblog ::

  27. I got this web site from my pal who shared with me
    about this website and at the moment this time I am visiting this web page and reading very informative articles here.

    My site: more
    Also see my webpage: View Web Page

  28. Very descriptive blog, I liked that a lot. Will there be a part 2?

    my homepage :: Homepage

  29. I am actually happy to read this web site posts which carries lots of helpful information, thanks for providing such

    My webpage; Star Porn

  30. Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we
    have created some nice practices and we are looking to exchange
    techniques with others, please shoot me an email if interested.

    Also visit my site ... By Campus Orgies -

  31. This paragraph presents clear idea for the new visitors
    of blogging, that in fact how to do running a blog.

    Feel free to visit my homepage Email Console

  32. This paragraph presents clear idea for the new visitors
    of blogging, that in fact how to do running a blog.

    My blog post ... Email Console

  33. These are in fact enormous ideas in about blogging. You have touched some
    good factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.

    Feel free to visit my web blog: over here

  34. Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you're working with? I'm going to start my own blog in the near future but I'm having a hard time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for something unique.
    P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to

    Here is my website :: more

  35. Someone necessarily assist to make significantly posts
    I'd state. That is the first time I frequented your web page and to this point? I surprised with the research you made to make this actual put up extraordinary. Great task!

    Here is my blog: football 60 minutes

  36. Great goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to
    and you're just too fantastic. I really like what you've acquired here, really like what you're stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I can't wait to read much more from you.

    This is actually a tremendous web site.

    Here is my page ... adorable blonde teen

  37. Hello are using Wordpress for your blog platform?
    I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and create my own.
    Do you need any html coding knowledge to make your own blog?
    Any help would be really appreciated!

    Here is my blog post; please click the next document

  38. Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be ok. I'm absolutely enjoying
    your blog and look forward to new updates.

    Here is my website ... click through the up coming web page

  39. Wow, amazing blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is magnificent, as well as the content!

    my blog post :: gallery

  40. Hi i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anyplace, when i read this piece of writing i thought i could also create
    comment due to this brilliant post.

    Visit my site :: I thought about this

  41. May I simply say what a comfort to uncover somebody that really knows what
    they are talking about on the web. You definitely
    realize how to bring a problem to light and make it important.
    More and more people must read this and understand this side of your story.
    I was surprised that you aren't more popular because you certainly possess the gift.

    my web blog more nubiles leila

  42. It's wonderful that you are getting ideas from this paragraph as well as from our discussion made here.

    Also visit my website -

  43. Hi! I simply wish to give you a huge thumbs
    up for the great information you have got here on
    this post. I am coming back to your site for more soon.

    Also visit my web page - the Nudes

  44. Just desire to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is just great and i could assume
    you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission
    let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post.
    Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.

    Stop by my web site - At porn

  45. Good answers in return of this query with solid arguments and
    telling everything concerning that.

    Feel free to surf to my webpage :: top article

  46. When I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from
    now on whenever a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment.
    There has to be a means you can remove me from that service?

    Here is my homepage: just click the following internet site

  47. Very nice article. I certainly love this website.
    Continue the good work!

    Also visit my site; here