Saturday, June 2, 2012

The Roadblock Faerie

"Thanks." is never the first word we mutter when we come up on a roadblock, but maybe it should be.  "Shit." is the hands-down winner for first utterance.  We wanted to go that way and we're instantly annoyed that we can't.  Now we're going to be late, or later... It takes a few seconds for the second layer of thought to rise up.  "Wonder what the problem is;  Bridge out?  Huge accident?  Sinkhole?  Something worse?  Friggin' road work, they're never done!"  Whatever it is we have to begrudgingly admit we're better off not going that way and finding out first hand.  

(What if the ridiculously prophesied  Zombie Apocalypse is actually happening up the road -and your chainsaw's in the shop?  The sign on the roadblock might say ROAD FLOODED, but what if it's flooded with the blood of the innocent?)

Luckily, the police or highway dept has our backs and that roadblock is there to not only warn us, but in case we're too foolish to heed that warning it's there to physically prevent us from going down an actual bad road.  Metaphorical bad roads on the other hand are always open and usually more inviting.  Who's going to have your back and block you from those, the roadblock faerie?

You could use your inheritance to pay off the mortgage,
but this baby can go 160mph and the salesman said Charlie
Sheen used to own it before his divorce!

I know it's finals week and you should be
studying, but I'm horny!  Wanna come in?

Ah, how different life would have been if there's been a winged watchman dropping striped sawhorses in front of every bad move I've ever made before I made them.  I'd have a much more rewarding career, a helluva lot more money, no plate in my ankle from skydiving, no 8" scar from biking without brakes, no flood house that still isn't all fixed eight months later, and no poison ivy bubbles creeping up my shins.  Of course Iife would've been a lot less interesting, and you can't put a price on adventure.  

Especially if it's bulging out of a tight t-shirt.

Some roadblocks are meant to be climbed over, or followed down a dimly lit dorm hallway.

This is part of the 30 days of writing challenge.  You can sample some others here.


  1. I know what you mean. If only I had roadblocks every time I was offered donuts, chips and smoked meat sandwiches. Now I have a bulging tight t-shirt!

  2. I'm thinking that if I have a roadblock faerie, he/she has a wicked sense of humor.

  3. I know Nicky wouldn't agreed, but I think you should get about 500,000 points for that one photo (yes, the one of the car ;)). I know this isn't supposed to be a contest, but you are WINNING, my friend.

  4. I agree with UP that your performance in this challenge has been quite strong, but I have no idea why he said this isn't supposed to be a contest. Of course it is! As such, I award you 750 points for this post - specifically for that one photo. (no, not the one of the car.)

  5. You gonna climb over that girl's rather large roadblocks?!?! :) YEAAAA!

    In all seriousness, boy you got it DOWN on this one. I wish I had a roadblock fairy telling me, "Ummm, maybe you should not consider...."

    But like you said, how boring would life be. And the plate? SUPER COOL!

  6. If UCLA is the roadblock, count me in. Just sayin' and all.

  7. Forget the Roadblock Faerie! What we all need are more Oompah Loompahs. Yes, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    heh heh

  8. You know, I wanted to read the post, but I couldn't get past the photo of that UCLA t-shirt. It was a roadblock for me.

  9. Dude, why didn't I realize you were participating in this thing? That car is really something but it looks like it's for midgets.